A desire that did not always reflect my own

As I begin my work towards being a FOCUS missionary, I am wildly excited, and yet, I am terribly afraid. I am afraid of taking a path that I never pictured for my life, a path that has never been in my plans, but slowly and ever so gently snuck it’s way into my heart.

But, it still scares me today. I do not have it all figured out, and I sometimes don’t know how it is going to work out. Continue reading “A desire that did not always reflect my own”

Exalting Love

Let’s exalt authentic love.

Today, we’re all about the stigma. Destigmatize this, destigmatize that. Usually not without reason, of course. But when do we draw the line between destigmatizing a good, and destigmatizing something that hurts us – seeking to destigmatize vices? Where do we draw the line between the things that are necessary, and things that are just convenient or for our pleasure? The things that maybe – just maybe – make our lives a little easier or fun, but slowly eat away at our hearts?

Today, and quite often recently, I have encountered the idea of destigmatizing porn.


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The Greatest Friends I’ve Ever Had

Yesterday (a month ago..way longer now, it’s taken me quite a while to get my hands back on this thing), I declared candidacy for graduation in Spring 2016. WHUT. As I did so, I began to think about my college career, all the wonderful things that I have found at UCSB, the people that i’ve met who have filled my years. The friendships I have made at UCSB are something I never thought I would have, but they are my greatest treasure and I am so grateful for them every day.

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I Love You, Too.

You are Rory Gilmore, your one year anniversary with Dean Forester (way better than Jess btw) is coming up. Dean tells you that he is building you your very own car for your anniversary, then – he tells you he loves you. You? You freak out. You say that this is a big step, you don’t know if you’re ready for that, you need time. You don’t say it back. He breaks up with you.

One of the moments most harped upon in a relationship in ‘real life’ or any TV show is this moment, right? The I love you, you idiot – and the I love you, too; Or the lack of. It’s great, right? The drama that ensues when the other doesn’t say it back, the silent sting. It’s probably got to be it’s own sort of scenic trope.

Continue reading “I Love You, Too.”

Women, You Should be Beautiful.

And you are beautiful. But do you know it? Do you want it?

I have often heard from my fellow women that every woman should and wants to feel “sexy.” I would like to challenge that notion and say that every woman should feel, and is, incredibly beautiful. No, I don’t mean that photoshopped cover of Cosmo or Vogue, I mean the beauty that comes from who you are, what you love, the way you love, the things that make you talk really fast when you’re excited, the friendships you hold, your inherent dignity, and who you were created to be.

You were created with a beauty that has the power to save the world, and sexy just does not cut it.

Continue reading “Women, You Should be Beautiful.”

Dignity – even when there is poop ALL OVER the floor

And the toilet, and the drawers, and…..everywhere.

What is this, some sick joke? Sadly, no. not at all. This is and has been, in fact, one of my most scarring and beautiful life experiences.

This holiday season, I found myself decking the halls with bleach, pine sol, water, gagging, and internal screams because my 85 year old grandmother had had the accident of all accidents when somehow (I really can’t figure out, logically, how this could have happened), poop ended up all over my uncle’s overly white bathroom.

Continue reading “Dignity – even when there is poop ALL OVER the floor”